If I’ve told copywriters once, I’ve told them a million times to avoid cliches like the plague.
(By my count, that’s four already, and I haven’t even gotten this post off the ground [five]).
Cliches are not our friends.
Still, when a client insists you insert the term “state of the art” or “synergistically integrated” into their copy, you clench your teeth, do it, and hope no one notices.
That’s why I hope copywriting never sees the equivalent of Tom Mangan’s “Banned For Life” blog — a running collection of journalism’s most overused cliches.
Mangan’s also a top outdoor blogger, and he’s very, very clear about Banned For Life’s mission:
Banned for Life is devoted to those expressions so gratingly overused that they should be forever banned from the nation’s news reports.
These are my most-loathed expressions:
- ” ‘Tis the Season” at Christmas.
- Campaign “war chests.”
- Downpours that “couldn’t dampen the spirits” of all those upon whom the rain fell.
- “Play in Peoria” in any story or headline relating to the central Illinois town of my birth.
It’s an audience participation blog; readers send comments and Mangan publishes them. The posts come infrequently enough that you can add Banned for Life to your RSS reader without fear of inundation.
It’s an amusing topic, and I’d love to see a list of your least-loved copywriting cliches. Hate yourself for something you wrote? Hate a client for making you write it?
The floor is yours, Undergrounders.
Have you read the book, Death Sentences, by Don Watson? (The full title is Death Sentences: How Cliches, Weasel Words and Management-Speak Are Strangling Public Language.) Highly recommended!
Of all the industries I work with, I find high-tech marketing uses not only the most teeth-grinding cliches, but these same cliches are also usually way too dense to be understood by the average, oh, I don’t know, PhD — not to mention the target market for this kind of dreck.
Jonathan: Thanks for the book lead.
Maven: It’s a given that most high-tech marketing falls into the “dense” category (if not “incomprehensible”).
And thanks for responding to my cutting edge, state-of-the-art, industry-leading post.
Tom, ‘when you’re right as rain’, I just have to put it out there and run it up the flag pole to see if anyone salutes.
Every single corporate business cliche:
“Step up to the plate”
“I am cognizant of” (why the heck can’t they just say: “I know”).
“To think outside the box”.
“value added”
“win win situation”
“change agent”
and my favorite: “our employees are our most valuable asset”.
I just blogged about this a few days ago, oddly. It’s hard to really define what a cliche is sometimes. I had a client who wanted me to say “quick and easy” over and over again. I’m not sure that it’s really a cliche, but it annoyed the crap out of me.
IS everything today available 24/7?
And,is it all “world-class”
And,are all automobiles being “introduced”?
And,is everything guaranteed for a FULL 24 months”
And,what is a “leading brand”?
And,is snow always that “white stuff”?
And,how can things be “comprised of…”?
Visually speaking….
Why do actors look at a telephone when someone hangs up on them?
And, why do telephones immediately buzz the dial tone when the other party hangs up?(can’t happen!)
And, how come we hear a dial tone on cell phones? (Now that is just plain stupid!!)
And, why are all night scenes in movies and commercials wet…and no one is wearing rain coats or carrying umbrellas?
And, why are all car commercials feature dangerous activities?
And,why do feminine products pour GREEN fluid?
And, why do TV stations even bother interviewing professional athletes after each game?
And – finally!!!! – why am I doing this? It’s a world-class boring thing to do!
RSH
Actually, almost all feminine hygiene products use the color blue because it resembles NO human discharge … at least not healthy human discharge. (I do recall a product using a different color in a recent ad, then the ad disappeared. I remember thinking, “Wow, that’s gross.”)
This post had me laughing! I remember reading a press release once that was so loaded with jargon that I picked up the phone and asked the PR person to translate it. I admit – I was having fun tormenting him. When he’d try to use the same jargon to explain himself, I’d say, “But what does that MEAN exactly?” He was tongue-tied, and I hung up feeling very proud of myself for busting his chops and getting a point across. Plus it was just plain fun.
)
Roberta: You never cease to amaze me.
Lori: I think I read that press release. Or one just like it. I was starting with a new client, who sent over several documents explaining their business model and their technology (kinda).
I needed powerful stimulants to make it all the way through the press release, and I still had no idea what they sold.
Jargon I hate. The occasional cliche?
Well, an instantly-understandable metaphor is an instantly-understandable metaphor. Use with caution, but don’t always rule it out just because you’re afraid people will instantly know what you’re talking about.
That’s often the point, right?
I agree — there’s a distinction to be made between empty chest beating (“state of the art”) and linguistic shorthand, though I wonder why it is so many marketing professionals seemingly can’t make that distinction…
Any sentence, paragraph, page, letter, report, proposal that begins with the phrase “In today’s…”
Double points off for anyone who adds the phrases “global marketplace,” “competitive environment,” or “customer-driven.”
Sometimes you even get the trifecta:
“In today’s competitive, customer-driven global marketplace…”
ARGH.
I have one more to add. It’s very “local,” although you may have some similar phraseology:
” The Greater Metropolitan Chicagoland area” Under the heading OMG! – that’s a multi-redundant phrase.
Greater, metropolitan, and “…land” mean “area.” Only the most retarded PR or AD brain would write that, but it turned up in several radio commercials. When my turn came to read on the air I simply cut it to Chicagoland one time, Chicago area another, greater Chicago yet another.
No one got the hint. And, no one complained. Conclusion: No one was listening!
Which may explain why I am no longer in broadcasting!
RSH
I agree…when the cliche obscures meaning, like so much marketing dribble these days. Here are a few more examples…
“…is the leader in…”
“…offers only the highest quality…”
“…for all your [insert word] needs.” (I hate that one.)
But when the cliche is a common figure of speech used in everyday language, then it can be useful. It makes your copy sound more conversational, more “down to earth.” For example…
“kill two birds with one stone”
“a bird in the hand, etc.”
These are ingrained in the public consciousness, and people instantly understand the metaphor. (I think this is what Brian Clark was touching on earlier.)
One final cliche pain in the asterisk:
Please be advised the office will be closed for Christmas Day.
And please be advised, I am outta here!
B. H.