In my prior post, the concept of writer’s market oversaturation found a little traction, and today, I’m here to discuss the Biggest Menace Facing Copywriters Ever (So Far This Week):

Sleepwriting (or Zzz-mailing if our wacky group of sleep experts are to be believed).

Will you write your best copy with your eyes closed?

Will you write your best copy with your eyes closed?

The UK Telegraph reports on this sinister new trend, which threatens the very foundations of the copywriting industry should certain mutant genetically gifted writers learn to craft hard-selling sentences in their sleep:

The 44-year-old woman, whose case is reported by researchers from the University of Toledo in the latest edition of medical journal Sleep Medicine, had gone to bed at around 10pm, but got up two hours later and walked to the next room.

She then turned on the computer, connected to the Internet, and logged on by typing her username and password to her email account. She then composed and sent three emails.

Each was in a random mix of upper and lower cases, not well formatted and written in strange language.

One read: “Come tomorrow and sort this hell hole out. Dinner and drinks, 4.pm,. Bring wine and caviar only.”

Another said simply, “What the…….”

The new variation of sleepwalking has been described as “zzz-mailing”.

Imagine competing with a zombie writer who pounds out a white paper and two landing pages while you’re unproductively snoring away, blissfully unaware your clients (and your revenue stream) were finding a new home at the “dreamwriters.com” freelance bidding site.

The implications are clear; it’s not enough to be productive 14 hours a day, scheduling ourselves to the second, generating free content by the bushel and incurring raging carpal tunnel.

No, tomorrow’s competitive copywriter has to text high-conversion-rate landing page copy to clients while sugar plums dance in our heads, and those incapable of “sleepwriting” will be branded slackers, or worse – hopelessly old fashioned .

Simply put, Undergrounders, I’ve seen the future of copywriting, and it’s dark out.

More on this breaking news story – as soon I’ve achieved productive REM sleep.

Keep sleepwriting, Tom Chandler.