While the internet has radically altered the face of marketing, us poor writers remain stuck with the same old-fashioned letters, overbearing grammar rules and boring punctuation that have always held us back.
Isn’t it time we threw off the yoke of our linguistic oppressors? Isn’t it time we evolved the language to fit our new digital, lifestreaming reality?
Which is why CollegeHumor.com’s publication of new punctuation designed expressly for the digital age caught my eye – especially the lovely, revelatory Demicolon:
Clearly, the expert linguists at CollegeHumor.com are bold thinkers: they also suggest digital-age punctuation marks like The Double-Reverse Sarcastimark, the quotificent Isolation Marks (which isolate your perfect text from the error-riddled crap you’re quoting), and the Victory-Carries-The-Wind symbol, which allows you win any online argument – no matter how tenuous your position.
Frankly, the writing world has waited a long time for this kind of forward-thinking punctuary revolution.
No longer will our tiny little hobbit writer’s hands be tied by outdated punctuation – marks that barely got the job done when words were still printed on paper.
See you on the bleeding edge of our New Digital Frontier,