The classics never go out of style, which is why I was thrilled to see William Safire’s Fumblerules for Grammar make an appearance on the Lists of Note blog.

In 1979, William Safire wrote a list of grammar rules, skillfully invoking the error in the rule itself (not an easy feat). Here are the first twenty; you can see the rest by clicking here.

  1. Remember to never split an infinitive.
  2. A preposition is something never to end a sentence with.
  3. The passive voice should never be used.
  4. Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
  5. Don’t use no double negatives.
  6. Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn’t.
  7. Reserve the apostrophe for it’s proper use and omit it when its not needed.
  8. Do not put statements in the negative form.
  9. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
  10. No sentence fragments.
  11. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
  12. Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
  13. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
  14. A writer must not shift your point of view.
  15. Eschew dialect, irregardless.
  16. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
  17. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!
  18. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
  19. Hyphenate between sy-llables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.
  20. Write all adverbial forms correct.

(Read the rest of the rules at Letters of Note).

If I had the time (a face-saving way of saying I don’t have the talent), I’d write a new set of Fumblerules for bloggers (“Avoid communicating massively hyper-awesomeness in each and every mind-blowing sentence.”)

Keep writing, Tom Chandler

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