If anything in the writing universe is ripe for satire, it’s the endless “How To Write Like John Irving Right Now” posts cluttering the writersphere.

Which is why I was delighted to find this gem from the incomparable McSweeney’s: “The Ultimate Guide To Writing Better Than You Normally Do.”

You’ll want to read the whole thing, but the first taste is free:


Writing is a muscle. Smaller than a hamstring and slightly bigger than a bicep, and it needs to be exercised to get stronger. Think of your words as reps, your paragraphs as sets, your pages as daily workouts. Think of your laptop as a machine like the one at the gym where you open and close your inner thighs in front of everyone, exposing both your insecurities and your genitals. Because that is what writing is all about.

Keep writing (you’ll get more written if you stop reading serious “Ten Tips…” articles), Tom Chandler.