Underground Entertainment

Unintentionally Amusing Social Media Blunder Of The Week (So Far)

June 16, 2011, by TC 2 comments

It used to be you fired an agency because they didn’t perform or you didn’t like the brand of muffins they served in meetings or the creative director had a ponytail or some other worthwhile reason.

Nowadays, you simply wait for the inevitable social media gaffe (via Ad Age):

In this case, the blunder was a public declaration denouncing negative reviews of client 2K’s “Duke Nukem Forever” game.

The now-deleted tweet was captured by Wired in a screenshot of from @TheRednerGroup that read: “too many went too far with their reviews. We r reviewing who gets games next time and who doesn’t based on today’s venom.”

James Redner, who had worked with the company since 2009 on various projects and who had most recently handled media relations for the launch of “Duke Nukem Forever,” has apologized for his actions numerous times on Twitter. He told Ad Age, “I used a public forum to voice my complaints and I know better. I poured my soul into the project and when I read the review I felt like a father trying to protect his son. In hindsight, I should have approached the writer directly.”

Social media has so few checks and balances—at least compared to more traditional media channels—that a continuous stream of entertaining marketing gaffes is almost guaranteed (in an attempt to provide even a glimpse of useful “how-to” content, I’ll simply offer the words “Hootsuite Pro” here).

In this case, not only did the tweet suggest a little less than perfect grace under fire, it also made public the common (but commonly denied) practice of witholding pre-release products from reviewers based on prior unfavorable reviews.

Oops.

And we’re not even going to explore the social media equivalent of “drunk dialing,” where you find yourself pouring out your scabbed-over heart on Facebook or Twitter while under the influence. (Do they make those “can’t start the car” breathalyzers for smartphones too?)

Or the inevitable autocorrect fails, where your phone out-thinks you, depriving you of your self-respect but providing the rest of us with a dose of humor at your expense.

Frankly, I’m all for screwups like this; so little in the social media universe (or on TV) offers entertainment anywhere near this compelling, especially for free.

Do I smell a reality TV series? (I think I do…)

Keep writing (but tweet with care), Tom Chandler.

PowerPoint: The Root All Evil, Or Simply The Cause of It?

June 14, 2011, by TC 4 comments

At times you have to wonder why so many big US corporations do so much evil (like almost bankrupting the global economy), and while sociologists compile pointless theories related to hubris and greed, I’ve determined the real cause of the problem:

PowerPoint.

(Stick with me on this one.)

Take a guy who is a normal, sincere human being, sit him in a conference room for three hours while someone carefully reads (out loud) every word on every copy-packed slide of a 50-slide presentation, and watch the rage simmer.

Cut him loose for lunch, and the guy who was only looking forward to a quiet hour in the park — where he’d feed the pigeons and smile at the attractive joggers — now stalks out of the meeting and begins foreclosure proceedings on Ghana.

Outbreaks of violence and civil strife in developing nations can be conclusively traced to the arrival of pirated copies of PowerPoint, and frankly, I can’t think of a better explanation for Donald Trump.

And every copywriter who has received a Russian-novel-length PowerPoint presentation with upwards of a dozen bullet points on every slide—and was told by some chirpy junior coordinator that it would “make a great home page—knows exactly what I mean.

While the above would constitute absolute proof in any peer-reviewed sociology journal, I’ll add one more piece of the puzzle.

The US House of Representatives is overrun with PowerPoint presentations.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

Potentially Depressing Writing Quote of the Day

June 11, 2011, by TC 2 comments

In keeping with my prior “you can’t write if you’re happy” post:

“The good writing of any age has always been the product of someone’s neurosis, and we’d have a mighty dull literature if all the writers that came along were a bunch of happy chuckleheads.”
-William Styron

Keep writing ~~you neurotic bastards~~, Tom Chandler.

The Underground Again Makes The Writer’s Digest “101 Best Websites For Writers”

May 19, 2011, by TC 3 comments

For the second consecutive year, the Writer’s Digest “101 Best Websites for Writers” issue includes the Copywriter Underground, and while last year’s award amounted to a nice surprise, this year it’s a little bewildering; the Copywriter Underground morphed into the Writer Underground a couple months ago, so in a literal sense, the winning blog no longer exists.

Publishing lead times being what they are it’s understandable, though because megalomania set in long ago, I’m accepting this as outright confirmation of my blogging genius. Anyone who can make a “Top Blogs” list two years running — even in the absence of a blog — clearly bestrides the writing world like a colossus.

In fact, I’m a little surprised I’m still here writing for the huddled masses instead of enjoying cocktails with Thomas McGuane.

Like last year, I find my blog listed between the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America and the Horror Writers Association, which — given the situation I’m facing with a difficult client — seems appropriate.

Keep writing (clearly, I’ll keep winning), Tom Chandler.

Writer's Digest 101 Best Websites for Writers Writer's Digest 2010 101 Best Websites for Writers

Our Ironically Poignant Spring Weather Photo (or, I’m Really, Really Tired of Snow)

May 17, 2011, by TC 4 comments

Living on the flank of a 14,179′ volcano does offer some stunning views and other benefits (namely a lack of car alarms, malls and people), but there are downsides to “spring” in the mountains:

For a while, expect everything I write to sound a little... whiny...

The Superstitious Writer Runs Headling Into Cold, Hard Reality (or, Meet My Lucky Underwear)

May 4, 2011, by TC 4 comments

Like most writers, I’m what I call “Productively Superstitious.”

I’ll tell you — with a perfectly straight face — that I’m not superstitious, but I’ve got a totemic piece of clothing/jewelry/keyboard/hat/underwear I dust off when I really need to get the words out.

Which is precisely where I find myself today; my wife is out of town, my darling little 2.5 year-old has decided that nighttime is a good time to climb out of the crib and play (note that “darling” was said through clenched teeth), our daycare provider has the flu (I’m Mr. Mom), and a pretty serious deadline has come and gone.

Normally, this is a job for my Lucky Writer Soccer Jersey (remember, I’m not superstitious).

It’s an old, cotton Manchester United soccer jersey that had never failed me, though the last two times I hauled it out it appeared as if its Mojo was weakening.

You can almost see through it...

I’ve put away as many as 6,000 words a day in that jersey (on one memorable day I crafted upwards of a dozen zippy campaign concepts), but after something on the order of 100 washes, I can see why the magic might be disappearing (along with most of the thread holding it together).

These things happen; like the people that wear them, lucky charms grow old.

So in case the next spin cycle is the soccer jersey’s last, I’m breaking a new totem; a free MailChimp t-shirt proudly displaying a chimpanzee.

I figure the Manchester United jersey worked because that football team is famous for pulling victory from the jaws of defeat, and usually at the last minute. (Yes, I’m faux-Euro enough to call them a “football” team.)

The chimp’s magic?

I can only cite the old saw about unlimited monkeys typing infinitely long, who eventually create the Complete Works of William Shakespeare. I figure I don’t so much need Shakespeare, so the process should happen a little faster.

Like, in an hour or so.

In other words, it’s a shot in the dark, but one that — in my desperation — I feel pretty good about.

Monkey, don’t fail me now.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

Welcome To The Biggest, Bestest, Most Award-Winning Writer’s Blog Ever…

April 14, 2011, by TC 4 comments

Tired of slaving away in anonymity? Working hard, but unsure if your writing will ever amount to anything?

Here’s a brilliant solution (courtesy The Gig blog): Give yourself an award:

Every writer needs an ego boost now and then. So I decided to do what Clay Morgan does, and create my own award.

In the past 7 days, I’ve written around 10,000 words.

Thus I received the prestigious 10k7d Award! It’s only been awarded to 3,874,981 people in the last five years! I’m honored. Really. Truly, honored to make it in the group.

This is genius.

In its prior incarnation, the Underground won several awards that frankly weren’t nearly as life affirming as the “Bestest Aimless Writer’s Blog Written Using the Emacs Text Editor This Week” Lifetime Achievement Award I just handed myself.

With this kind of personal branding power at your fingertips (“Winner of the prestigious Franklin P. Minnow Fellowship for Adverbial Excellence”), who needs a publishing contract or a Pulitzer or any of that crap?

The benefits are many, starting when my sweet, loving wife asks me “How was your day?”

I can honestly answer that “I won an ‘Ikkie’ in the Underwater Drama category.”

What day could be a total waste when you’ve won an Ikkie?

Keep writing (and winning!), Tom Chandler.

The Pen is Mightier Than the… Time Machine?? (Chinese government bans time travel science fiction dramas)

April 10, 2011, by TC 2 comments

I could make a strong case for a government ban on zombie/vampire fiction in the USA, but only as an April Fools joke (well, sorta).

Not so for our friends in the Chinese General Bureau of Radio, Film and Television, which just decreed that no more time travel dramas can be made or aired.

(Suddenly, the overused self-help mantra “stay in the present” becomes helpful legal advice.)

Writers must have it tough in China.

Sure, you’re dealing with the world’s single biggest market and all, but you’re also dealing with one of the world’s alltime baddest bureaucracies, who may simply decide one day to ban the use of adverbs or a specific letter perceived as being unfavorable to the government or something.

I’d probably support the Chinese government if they tried to enforce a worldwide ban on reality TV, paranormal YA fiction and stories/photographs of Lindsay Lohan, but science fiction?

Keep your stinking paws off my sci-fi, you damn dirty censor.

Keep writing (in the present), Tom Chandler.

New Digital Life For Old Analog Cameras?

April 4, 2011, by TC No comments yet

UPDATE: On my fly fishing blog, a commenter said this was actually an April Fools Joke by a German ad agency, which isn’t really over-the-top enough to be all that funny (and frankly invites a DNS attack on somebody’s website…)

I began my writing career as a photojournalism student, newspaper photographer and PR photog (it’s largely how I put myself through school), and while my old Canon F1 camera bodies survived everything I handed them, they finally fell victim to the digital revolution.

Are they about to acquire a second wind?

I’m skeptical about things until I see them – and all I’ve seen is a web page — but the chance to bring new life to the indestructible SLR camera bodies (and lenses) whose controls are still hard-wired into my fingertips gets my attention.

From the website:

The RE-35 cartridge replaces the film in your classic analog 35-mm camera. Set the ISO to 400 and your done – your camera will now take high quality digital pictures.

No word on cost (4, 8 & 12 MP are listed), and availability is just “later this year,” but we’ll let you know when we know.

~~Keep shooting, Tom Chandler.~~

On William Shatner’s 80th Birthday, I Indulge my Sci-Fi Roots

March 24, 2011, by TC 6 comments

William Shatner’s 80th birthday fell earlier this week, and in honor of the often-hammy Star Trek star – whose series introduced at least one impressionable kid to the idea of worlds beyond our own (and created a lifelong science fiction fan) – we give you the instantly recognizable Star Trek theme – played on a saw…

(Found via Tor.com, who also posted a compilation of Shatner videos (not to be missed if you’re on any kind of drugs), and also a writer’s essay about a book that I also read to death when I was young; The World of Star Trek)

See What That Journalism Degree Is Good For? (or, Slightly Different Career Path For Out-Of-Work Journalists)

March 22, 2011, by TC 4 comments

Print journalists are suffering through an industry-wide decline, though the Underground’s Writer Employment Division advises against taking the route of newspaper sportswriter Kevin Provencher, who was sentenced for starting… a prostitution ring.

(From Media Bistro)

Kevin Provencher of Manchester, N.H., claimed he started the “side business” of running a prostitution operation because of a pay cut at his job. On Friday, was sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison and fined $5,000 in a Massachusetts court.

Ouch. I mean, if he was going to stoop to prostitution anyway, why didn’t he just write SEO articles?

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

This Documentary Brought To You By POM Wonderful (Morgan Spurlock’s Hilarious Documentary About Advertising)

March 21, 2011, by TC 4 comments

Morgan Spurlock – of “Supersize Me” documentary fame – is releasing a documentary about product placement and advertising, and funding the documentary using… product placement and advertising.

This, frankly, we don’t want to miss: “The Greatest Movie Ever Sold.”