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Underground Entertainment
So, Exactly How Committed Are You To Your Words? (or, Literary Tattoos On a Friday)
It’s probably not a stretch to say most writers wear their words on their sleeves, but in this case, it’s literally true.
"Integrity" - not a bad reminder...
Most copywriters are unlikely to tattoo a particularly cheeky call to action on their abdomen, but at the contrariawise: Literary Tattoo blog, you’ll see plenty of literature lovers who have tattooed a favorite poem, passage or quote permanently on their body.
“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
It’s fascinating viewing (and the blog now appears in my RSS reader), and while I’m not exactly standing in line for a tattoo, I am wondering what the “ultimate” copywriter’s tattoo might look like.
(Benefits R Us or perhaps AIDA? Or something more literate?)
Any ideas from the Undergrounders?
Keep writing (on your screen, not your arm), Tom Chandler.
The "Real" Life of a Writer (or, The Early Years of Walter Jon Williams)
Walter Jon Williams is a successful science fiction novelist who’s been cleaning out the tax records in his garage – and writing an amusing (and informative) series of posts about the money he made (or didn’t make) in his first years as a fulltime professional.
His career began in 1979, and it’s instructive to note that the first books written by Williams weren’t even science fiction.
Sometimes, you just have to allow for change.
And yes – every writer with more than a few years under their belt should probably do a post-mortem on their early years – if only for the comic value:
1980 showed me settling into the business of being a writer. Despite the business loss, it wasn’t at all a bad year, and I was able to coast on the advance I’d been paid the previous year. I did the work, I made my deadlines, and I taught myself the business. My writing was getting better. I even managed to have a little fun.
But while I and my friends knew I was a real writer, the rest of the world had no such idea. Though I’d completed three books, none were yet in print. I labored in complete obscurity.
The next year, 1981, saw my first publications, in which the great American public saw my journeyman works and, in overwhelming numbers, yawned.
Every writer has lived through a few “yawning” years. The trick is not to let them define you.
One year in the early 90s, every campaign I wrote was basically a home run; the clients were happy, the numbers were great, and megalomania was setting in.
The very next year, every campaign I pitched came back covered in red ink, and I don’t think anything made it out of the starting gate before the third or fourth set of concepts.
Williams has seen his share of ups and downs over the course of his career, and I only hope he gives us an insider’s glimpse of them as his posts unfold.
To read the sometimes funny, sometimes poignant posts about the early career of a good writer, read about 1979 here, 1980 here, and 1981 here. To read his recent Nebula-award winning Novella (The Green Leopard Plague), click here.
Keep writing, Tom Chandler.
Copywriter Spelling Error Of The Day
Copywriting mistakes are never pretty, but they’re even less so when:
- They’re in a headline
- Contained in a simple word
Every copywriter has stabbed himself in the back with one of these bad boys, and while I’m thankful this isn’t mine, I will admit to remembering every stupid spelling mistake I’ve ever committed.
Call it the curse of an exemplary memory.
Keep writing (and spelling), Tom Chandler.
The Real Source of Ghost Writers (or, Why Your Head Hurts)
I hate to simply mine Dilbert cartoons for content, but after his flirtation with social media, he’s moved on to… writers.
Ghost writers, to be specific:
Now I know why my head hurts. Keep writing (dead or alive), Tom Chandler.
Is There Any Reason Social Media Copywriting Has to Suck Like a Hoover?
Like anyone invested in their craft, I can only handle so much stupidity before the mental elastic parts with a snap.
And frankly, no writer could be blamed for howling a little after repeated, long-term exposure to the following:
Bad Social Media Copywriting.
This morning I received an email promising me “a chance to win a t-shirt” if I managed to convince the sizable readership of my fly fishing blog to “like” an organization’s Facebook page.
Wow. A “chance” at a t-shirt. That’s real motivation for a top blogger, who invests a great deal of effort creating original content for his readers.
Clearly, the marketers share my pain.
Worse was this email (also aimed at my fly fishing blog), which – to spare you undue suffering – is only reprinted in part:
Hope your doing well. You’re getting this email because you blog about stuff real guys like. And [name withheld to keep their traffic to a minimum] Whiskey is as real as it gets. We’re betting your readers will want to know about damn good whiskey from the most award-winning distillery in the world. We are writing to invite to participate in a contest we call “Blogging for the Buffalo.”
Wow. Possessive fail in word #2, and it scarcely got any better. (Note my restraint with “most award-winning distillery” or the idea that they know what “real” guys like.)
The rest of the email is similarly challenged – as was the landing page (maybe a visit to one of Roberta Rosenberg’s Landing Page makeovers is in order).
Sadly, they caught me at the wrong moment, and this is what they got in return:
Wow. Goose bumps are rippling up and down my naughty bits.
I simply can’t wait to send my hard-earned blog readership to an anonymous, marketing-challenged distillery I’ve never heard of – and absolutely thrilled with the very real prospect of receiving little or nothing in return.
What thoughtful blogger – at least one capable of building a category-leading blog – could say “no” to a once-in-a-lifetime deal like that?
That I’m being asked to do your marketing heavy lifting for you via an error-ridden email only heightens the giddy anticipation; Social Media Experts know nothing screams “authenticity” like repeated grammar errors, caveman-esque syntax, and yes – Excessive Exclamation Syndrome!!
That your landing page continues the parade of errors only assures me that – as your email suggested – it was built by “real guys” (just like me).
Party on, The Trout Underground.
Social media represents a large (and growing) target; the hype is often unconscionable, and the low-bid implementations regularly fall below the just-invented “Laughability Line.”
I once considered launching a “Social Media Hall of Shame” blog highlighting the worst examples of social media buffoonery, but I (thankfully) realized no marketer could long expose himself to that kind of radioactivity without quickly accumulating a lethal dose.
Unfortunately, the trend seems to be accelerating. Unintentionally hilarious spam subject lines used to provide the majority of the amusement, but social media gaffes are quickly displacing it. And as quickly as you delete/glass over/ignore it, more takes its place.
Keep writing (but please, try to do it well), Tom Chandler.
Cheaper Than an iPad & Cooler Than Any Smartphone; It's The USB Typewriter
Do you yearn for a more romantic style of writing – one where you pounded out your award-winning novel on your trusty manual typewriter, then flew to Paris to start drinking your way through your next book?
Well, pine no more, Undergrounders. We bring you news of a product sure to make you shrug and go on with your day: The USB-enabled Manual Typewriter:
Frankly – given the world’s oversupply of unused manual typewriters and shortage of working iPhones – we’re amazed nobody thought of this before (after all, phone reception on one of these couldn’t be much worse than an iPhone 4).
Now all those tech bloggers – who struggle to write their never-critical-of-new-technology blog posts on their tiny iPhones and iPads – can take command of a full-sized, calorie-consuming and (dare I say it) man-sized keyboard, courtesy the USB Typewriter site:
The USBTypewriter™ is a new and groundbreaking innovation in the field of obsolescence. Lovers of the look, feel, and quality of old fashioned manual typewriters can now use them as keyboards for any USB-capable computer, such as a PC, Mac, or even iPad! The modification is easy to install, it involves no messy wiring, and does not change the outward appearance of the typewriter (except for the usb adapter itself, which is mounted in the rear of the machine). So the end result is a retro-style USB keyboard that not only looks great, but feels great to use.
At this website, you can buy buy a USB Typewriter of your very own, or you can buy a kit to make one yourself. You can also send me your typewriter to customize.
Hell, they’re even less-expensive than an iPad.
If this doesn’t go viral and launch a renaissance in the use of manual typewriters, then we’ll know we live in A World Gone Mad.
Keep punching the keys, Tom Chandler.
Which Famous Writer Writes Like You?
Which “famous” writer do you write like?
I can say with some honesty I’ve never asked myself that particular question (Oh, all right – Thomas McGuane). Fortunately (I guess), there’s a website willing to ask it for you.
With the possible exception of supermodels, nobody’s happier staring into a mirror than a writer, so there’s little point in pretending: just go there, cut and paste some recent work into the window, and let it fly.
Oddly, no matter what I posted (entries from my fly fishing blog, this blog, a recent commercial blog post, a book project chapter…) my analysis came back “Cory Doctorow.”
(Since he’s ten years younger than I am, I’d suggest he writes like me, but I might be quibbling here.)
Anyone happy with their written doppleganger?
Keep writing (like yourself), Tom Chandler
The Top Five Signs Your Web Site May Have Been Designed By Apple iPhone Team
The Top Five Signs Your Web Site May Have Been Designed By the Apple iPhone Team:
#5: Site works great in the morning, but loses power halfway through the day
#4: You waited in line to buy it even though it’s barely different from your old web site
#3: Site looks cool, but seller mysteriously decides who can and can’t visit
#2: You conspicuously surf your site whenever anybody’s watching – even in car or public restroom
#1: Users randomly disconnected from site every time they palm their mouse
Finally, Your Television Has a Voice. What's It Saying To You?
If ever a video deserved to go viral, it’s this hilarious, desperate-sounding snippet that finally gives your television the voice it’s so sorely needed…
Television is a drug. from Beth Fulton on Vimeo.
Ignore that New Host Smell…
The Underground’s switching web hosts, and some unfortunate timing means the DNS propagation is taking place during the day.
All should have returned to normal by this evening.
With any luck, things will happen a bit quicker.
Keep writing, Tom Chandler.
linux is for writers
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