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Does Your Writer’s Office Look Anything Like These?!

April 26, 2013, by Tom Chandler 2 comments
Writer's Rooms from Bad Language

Matthew Stibbe’s Bad Language blog posted a series of photographs of writer’s rooms, and while I’m always willing to peek into the life of another writer, I’m reminded why I close my eyes when I walk into my office, at least compared to most of these.

Writer's Rooms from Bad Language

My office looks nowhere near as neat as most of these…

First, let me say I’ve got a great office; we live in a nice house on three wooded acres on the flank of a 14,000′ stratovolcano. The view out the window is just right; not the stellar vistas of the upstairs rooms, but a glimpse of the outdoors — enough to remind me I should finish work and go play.

The problem is that it’s been a long winter, and the office is in its pre-spring-cleaning state. If you photographed it for a post like Stibbe’s, you’d want to disinfect your blog after posting.

I’ve got three unused desktop PCs and monitors stacked in one corner, a wire document rack stuffed with fly rods in another. A rack of winter clothes is pushed up against the wall, and bookshelves (which attract clutter like politicians attract scandals) line the back.

Small stacks of paper, fishing gear, office supplies and other junk cover 75% of the floor.

And I can’t really see through the detritus to the top of my desk.

It looks like a sporting goods warehouse fell out of the sky and landed on a combination library/copier room/computer repair depot.

Still, there’s hope.

We’re in the midst of our first sunny, 70+ degree days of spring. Line up enough warm days end-to-end, add in a pinch of freedom from deadlines, and eventually even I throw open the windows, shovel out the expired paperwork, and store the winter clothes.

I don’t think I’ll ever quite achieve the stately, dignified writing rooms featured in Stibbe’s post (I just noticed the post was by Clair Dodd, the potential Dr. Who companion who writes for Bad Language), but then, they’re mostly British, and cleaning their writer rooms is just the kind of stiff upper lip kind of behavior you’d expect from them.

Keep writing (and try to keep up with the cleaning), Tom Chandler.

Why Work For Glowing Reviews When You Can Simply Buy Them?

August 27, 2012, by Tom Chandler 11 comments

The indie publishing world is now finally acknowledging what’s been obvious for some time.

Some of its best-known (and best-selling) authors paid for hundreds (or thousands) of glowing reviews to appear on the Internet and Amazon.

This New York Times story makes it clear that readers who blindly trust Amazon’s review system will eventually end up puzzled by the abominable prose filling the supposedly “five-star” book they just bought.

(Note: I’ve long been a member of Goodreads, a Google-owned book review site. I’m sure it’s being gamed, but it’s relatively easy to check the validity of reviewers, and it’s far more trustworthy than Amazon’s reviews.)

Long abused by family members, friends and authors trading glowing reviews with each other, Amazon’s reviews are to be trusted about as much as writer John Locke, the million-ebook-selling author who was outed in the NY Times article as having purchased 300 glowing reviews for his books — a fact not-surprisingly left out of his “How I Sold One Million E-Books in Five Months” ebook.

Sleazy, Locke. Sleazy.

The Hidden Backstory

Sure to be ignored among all the gnashing of teeth is how easy it was for the “entrepreneur” selling all those reviews to find writers willing to create them:

How little, he wondered, could he pay freelance reviewers and still satisfy the authors? He figured on $15. He advertised on Craigslist and received 75 responses within 24 hours.

Potential reviewers were told that if they felt they could not give a book a five-star review, they should say so and would still be paid half their fee, Mr. Rutherford said. As you might guess, this hardly ever happened.

Amazon and other e-commerce sites have policies against paying for reviews. But Mr. Rutherford did not spend much time worrying about that. “I was just a pure capitalist,” he said. Amazon declined to comment.

Mr. Rutherford’s busiest reviewer was Brittany Walters-Bearden, now 24, a freelancer who had just returned to the United States from a stint in South Africa. She had recently married a former professional wrestler, and the newlyweds had run out of money and were living in a hotel in Las Vegas when she saw the job posting.

Ms. Walters-Bearden had the energy of youth and an upbeat attitude. “A lot of the books were trying to prove creationism,” she said. “I was like, I don’t know where I stand, but they make a solid case.”

For a 50-word review, she said she could find “enough information on the Internet so that I didn’t need to read anything, really.” For a 300-word review, she said, “I spent about 15 minutes reading the book.” She wrote three of each every week as well as press releases. In a few months, she earned $12,500.

“There were books I wished I could have gone back and actually read,” she said. “But I had to produce 70 pieces of content a week to pay my bills.”

Drawing parallels to content mills (like Copify) is very easy to do — and probably appropriate. It’s clear that most paid book reviews are sourced from existing content and glued together (rewritten just enough to beat the plagiarism filters) — a reasonable approximation of what goes on when writers pound out SEO articles for $12.

Once again, an overabundance of labor on the backend is making wholesale manipulation of online engines (search and review) a wholly cost-effective opportunity.

Keep writing (just don’t be a jerk about it), Tom Chandler.

How To Stop Reading Dumb “How To Write…” Posts

August 17, 2012, by Tom Chandler 1 comment

If anything in the writing universe is ripe for satire, it’s the endless “How To Write Like John Irving Right Now” posts cluttering the writersphere.

Which is why I was delighted to find this gem from the incomparable McSweeney’s: “The Ultimate Guide To Writing Better Than You Normally Do.”

You’ll want to read the whole thing, but the first taste is free:

WRITE EVERY DAY

Writing is a muscle. Smaller than a hamstring and slightly bigger than a bicep, and it needs to be exercised to get stronger. Think of your words as reps, your paragraphs as sets, your pages as daily workouts. Think of your laptop as a machine like the one at the gym where you open and close your inner thighs in front of everyone, exposing both your insecurities and your genitals. Because that is what writing is all about.

Keep writing (you’ll get more written if you stop reading serious “Ten Tips…” articles), Tom Chandler.

On Gratitude

June 12, 2012, by Tom Chandler 5 comments
My yard

My downstairs office is big and quiet and jammed with bookshelves; it’s basically ideal for getting work done. I’m not distracted by an expansive view of the mountains and it’s wholly private.

On the warm, sunny days I sometimes turn off the horrendously fast desktop PC, grab the netbook, put my feet up on the porch railing and write outside.

My yard

For the picture I took my feet off the rail (the pond is just to the left)

 

I don’t get nearly as much written, but there are compensations; just now the tree squirrels started chattering indignantly, and a few seconds later a coyote trotted through the yard.

The landscape here is volcanic, so water percolates through it like it was a coffee filter. That means our small pond doesn’t look like much, but it represents some of the only standing water in the area.

So the parade of wild animals is continuous: birds, squirrels, deer, fox, snakes, mice, an osprey and the coyote stop by on a regular basis. It drives our half-lab/half basset crazy.

Early last Thursday, I watched a black bear swim laps, grunting like he was finally scratching a persistent itch (I think he’s the same bear who demolished our garage door last year).

If I get the urge, in less than fifteen minutes I can be fly fishing one of several pretty trout streams.

In short, there are real privations associated with rural living, but the wildlife and outdoor opportunities aren’t among them.

Amusingly, I still bristle when people say I’m “lucky” to live here, as if we didn’t plan this or make sacrifices to get our three wooded acres on the flank of a stratovolcano.

I can be a prickly, cranky sort, yet I’m smart enough to know a better reaction is gratitude; becoming a fulltime professional writer today means overcoming a lot of challenges I never faced.

And here I find myself working from a part of the world unblighted by high rises and traffic.

Which means I did get lucky; putting my feet up on the porch rail means I’m literally staring out at trees and a mountain — not suburbia or an apartment parking lot.

It’s easy to get swept up in the whirlwind of work, invoicing hassles, client abuses and the massive changes sweeping the industry.

It’s better to experience a little gratitude that I get to do this at all.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

Ken Burns On Great Stories (or, +1=3)

May 17, 2012, by Tom Chandler 5 comments

The Ira Glass video on creativity still draws a ton of visitors, so why not documentary filmmaker Ken Burns? In his personable way, Burns helps us understand what makes a great story (1+1=3). Enjoy.

(found via the interesting Brain Pickings blog)

UPDATE: After watching this three times, I realize I had no real idea how powerful a storyteller he is. His movies had always moved me, but listen to the rhythms and intonations of his speech. He’s always in story mode…

Why Brainstorming Rarely Works (Plus Five Tips For Better Work Sessions)

March 27, 2012, by Tom Chandler No comments yet
Imagine by Jonah Lehrer

I haven’t read Jonah Lehrer’s new book on the science of creativity (Imagine: How Creativity Works) but I suspect I soon will.

Imagine by Jonah Lehrer

Imagine by Jonah Lehrer (click to buy)

In this interview with Barnes & Noble Lehrer covers territory guaranteed to cause traumatic flashbacks in at least half the copywriters I know:

BNR: The discussion of brainstorming is particularly counterintuitive; you point to research that indicates how “criticism and debate” — despite the former term’s association with repressive negativity — is a more fruitful model for groups working together. If brainstorming is so unsuccessful a strategy for generating innovation, why has it held on for so long?

JL: I think the allure of brainstorming is inseparable from the fact that it feels good. A group of people are put together in a room and told to free-associate, with no criticism allowed. (The imagination is meek and shy: If it’s worried about being criticized it will clam up.) Before long, the whiteboard is filled with ideas. Everybody has contributed; nobody has been criticized. Alas, the evidence suggests that the overwhelming majority of these free-associations are superficial and that most brainstorming sessions actually inhibit the productivity of the group. We become less than the sum of our parts.

As you note, researchers have shown that group collaborations benefit from debate and dissent; it is the human friction that makes the sparks. Alas, the presence of criticism means that a few people are going to get their feelings hurt. So I think one reason we’ve clung to brainstorming for decades is that it increases employee morale, even if that comes at the cost of creativity. That’s an unfortunate truth, of course, but that doesn’t make it less true. There’s a reason why Steve Jobs always insisted that new ideas required “brutal honesty.”

I have participated in a lot of “no criticism” brainstorming sessions, and the best that’s ever emerged was one or two possibilities for further exploration.

In fact, I can’t imagine a worse way to create the next organizational ad campaign, logo, tagline, or mission statement.

Yet every day, some poor creative sap gets marched into a room full of eager amateurs who produce cliches, puns and off-target ideas by the bushel. Frankly, it would be more productive to eliminate the brainstormed ideas from the universe of possibilities and work with what’s left.

The best ad campaign I ever crafted came after I turned most of a 200-page artist’s sketchbook into trash can filler, then presented my ideas to three other colleagues (writer, art direct, art director), who trashed all but three of them.

Creative meetings among peers can be painful — and they can turn toxic if the relationships within the room are the least bit poisonous — but unlike the morale-building “we’re all OK” sessions, they regularly produce viable ideas.

(This is a good reason to maintain a small group of marketing “friends” who can offer you intelligent feedback — the same way writer’s groups offer reality checks to novelists.)

Over the years, I’ve developed a few rules for work sessions:

  • Criticism has to focus on the concept itself, not the presentation (don’t discard a great idea because someone mocked up the comp with the wrong stock photo or typeface)
  • Don’t throw out a promising concept because of one flaw; you’re not there to shoot down ideas, you’re there to make good stuff
  • If a tit-for-tat dynamic develops between two (or more) people, it’s time to take a break and short-circuit it
  • Keep sessions around an hour; longer and you get punchy (this from uber-comedian and writer John Cleese)
  • Be merciless, but have fun

Lehrer also focuses on a few of the “romantic” misconceptions about creativity, namely that it’s the province of only a few, and for the anointed, creativity is largely effortless — not the product of hard work.

Somewhere, somebody fits that mold, but in my experience, the best ad concepts and copy were the result of a search for a (preferably dramatic) truth, and if it’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, truth of any kind rarely comes cheap.

Simply put, it’s lying that’s easy.

Naturally, feel free to disagree in the comments; I can’t help but welcome creative debate and dissent.

Keep writing (and creating), Tom Chandler.

Are Writers Ready For Speech-To-Text Technology? Or Is It A Bigger Barrier Than Typing?

March 20, 2012, by Tom Chandler 2 comments
microphone

A longtime copywriter friend was recently diagnosed with a kind of “benign” neurological disorder that results in the shaking of both arms. He’ll be fine and typing isn’t impossible, but he’s using Dragon Naturally Speaking (speech-to-text software) anyway, and finding it useful for some tasks.

microphoneBut not necessarily the “better written” bits.

Interesting.

For decades we were told we’d eventually speak to our computers, but speech-to-text conversion proved more difficult than first imagined, and it seems as if computers are only now coming up with the horsepower to get the job done, though even powerful desktop PCs still translate pretty haltingly.

(Note: Before you Apple fanboys point gleefully at the iPhone’s Siri, keep in mind all those commands are processed on remote servers — your iPhone and iPad aren’t really up to the challenge).

Is speech-to-text ever really going to catch on for writers? Typing is a hassle and a real barrier for some, but is dictating a story an even bigger barrier?

Given a clean slate — no “brain training” either way — is dictating a story/copy/screenplay harder or easier than typing it?

Old Dogs, New Speech

I’ve tried speech-to-text and found it difficult to adjust to, though I’ve written with my fingers since the mid 70s and might qualify for incorrigibility under the “Old Dog” statutes.

In other words, after typing for four decades, a quick dictation trial is almost guaranteed to fail.

Fair enough. Yet when sci-fi novelist Charlie Stross decided to write his next novel by typing the narrative bits but speaking the dialog into a speech-to-text engine, it raised a few questions.

Like, is this stuff finally ready for mainstream use? Or is speech-to-text a technology destined for another generation, who will presumably have wired their brains for speech after spending their cavity-prone years talking to their phones and tablets?

The Spoken Word Isn’t Dialog

First, let’s talk about dialog vs speaking. The distinction is important.

Everyday speech is pretty awful stuff. People react badly when they see themselves recorded on video precisely because writers don’t speak nearly as well as we write (video a bunch of teenagers talking and you’ll learn the true horror of the spoken word.)

Then my writer friend wondered if screenwriters — who rely on dialog for so much of their work — wouldn’t find it easier to adopt speech-to-text than a novelist, who generally writes more narrative.

After thinking about it (and recognizing the fact I know damned little about the mechanics of actual speech), I suggested that movie/TV dialog doesn’t really have that much in common with everyday speech.

It has to feel real, but it’s far tighter and far more story-oriented (a quick listen suggest Aaron Sorkin’s dialog [Sports Night, West Wing, The Social Network, etc] runs about 2x-4x as fast as conversations in real life).

Then we wondered if a great public speaker wouldn’t then make a great writer, but — at least according to essayist Paul Graham — great public speakers are often a lot better at motivating than imparting information.

And it’s clear that motivation is not enough to sustain a story; we expect our entertainment to have conflict, an arc and a resolution.

In other words, this spoken word stuff simply isn’t all that simple.

The Nightmare of Speech

In my post about tablet PCs not being formidable writer’s tools, I outlined some of the limitations of speech-to-text (and I’m adding a few new ones):

  • Poor in public places (background noise, and you’ll irritate people)
  • Small PCs don’t yet have enough horsepower
  • Handles accents, dialects and unknown words poorly
  • Is difficult to edit while you’re writing (for those who write this way)

Nicholas Carr’s more provocative headlines aside, he’s assembled an interesting mass of information about the plasticity of the brain.

In simple terms, our brain reacts to different stimulus the way our muscles do; pullups strengthen your biceps a lot more than your legs, and writing by dictation would eventually make your brain far more adept at… writing by dictation.

I’d suggest the technology is still far from bulletproof, but that we’re fast approaching the moment where speech-to-text technology becomes reasonable.

When that moment arrives, will writers adopt it, or find it a barrier to good prose?

Keep typing, Tom Chandler.

In Twenty Years, Will Writers Be Nostalgic For Microsoft Word?

March 12, 2012, by Tom Chandler 20 comments
Komodo Edit

There’s Not Much To Be Nostalgic About In Today’s Word Processors

In what I’ll characterize as Old Geezer Writer Week at ZDNet, they interview a herd of technology journalists about their first word processors (you never forget your first).

It gets moldy fast; a few started their careers on typewriters [raises hand], but many found their way to WordStar or Xywrite early on, often graduating to WordPerfect (my favorite) before finally moving on to one of today’s choices (MS Word, LibreOffice, Google Docs). More than a few pine a little for the keyboard editing commands of those early editors.

(Oddly Digressive: I believe Stephen King might have been the first truly high-profile writer to use a word processor; he bought a dedicated “Wang” word processor, a company which surely wouldn’t have folded had they bought off on my “Stephen King’s Wang Never Goes Down” ad campaign.)

The Promiscuous Writer

When I started writing professionally I owned one of the first Macs. It was a 128K model, more a proof of concept than useful computer, but my earliest projects were written on an electric typewriter; I couldn’t afford the Mac printer and I wrote everything longhand anyway, so I was basically transcribing.

I eventually had one-night stands with all the Mac word processors, but got tired of the crashes and in the early 90s switched to the PC (all my clients had), where — despite my forbidden love of WordPerfect — I was forced to use MS Word by Microsoft’s proprietary file format.

I still carry a grudge against Microsoft and have grown allergic to proprietary file formats, which is why I write 95% of my work in text editors (Komodo Edit, Sublime Text 2, Emacs).

They’re fast and powerful and keep my hands on the keyboard instead of the mouse, and if I live long enough to write another “Geezer Word Processor” post twenty years from now, the file containing this column will still be readable.

Komodo Edit

GWD (Getting Words Down), text editor style.

May You Write In Interesting Times

We live in interesting times; the majority of writers still use document processors, which heap all sorts of unneeded, memo-making rubbish atop words often destined for online use.

Simply put, our world has changed, yet our tools really haven’t.

Some look back at the early word processors with a smirk, but I could make a cogent argument that character-based editors like WordStar and WordPerfect are actually better text processors for writers than MS Word and LibreOffice; they’re keyboard oriented, less tied to format, and offer more online/digital friendly file formats.

I look at the nifty function-specific features offered by screenwriting software, the organizational strength of Scrivener (Mac & Windoze software for novelists and screenwriters), and have to wonder when general writers and copywriters will finally see something truly built for use in the digital age.

That way, we won’t all gaze backwards 20 years from now and realize we’re still using the same crappy document processors.

Most of the copywriters I know still write in MS Word, but hope springs eternal in my breast; has anyone seen the light and moved on?

Keep writing, Tom Chandler
 
 
p.s. — This post was written in Komodo Edit (free) using the Markdown text markup language, which makes me feel just a little smug and superior.

Hey, It’s National Carpal Tunnel Month For Writers (NaCaTuMo)!

February 29, 2012, by Tom Chandler 4 comments
National Poetry Writing Month

Writers are already tooling up for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), which doesn’t even begin until November 1.

But what if you’re a glutton for keyboard-based/death-march suffering, and simply can’t wait?

You’re in luck.

ScriptFrenzy challenges you to write a 100-page screenplay in the month of April, which means if you’ve finished editing last year’s NaMoWriMo novel and find yourself idly watching I Love Lucy reruns, then it’s time to learn how to write dialog.

And just in case the world’s poets haven’t already suffered enough, here’s a way to force yourself to write a lot of poems (NaPoWriMo?? Really?)

National Poetry Writing Month

Aren't poets already angst-ridden enough?

No matter what you write (every month feels like National Copywriter Overwork Month here at the Underground [NaCoOwkMo]), there’s a website that invites you to abuse your Carpal Tunnels writing it for 30 days at a time.

Who says it’s only congress that is crazy?

See you writing all the time, Tom Chandler.

How To Write A Great Ad In Twelve Steps

January 26, 2012, by Tom Chandler No comments yet
Ogilvy On Advertising

If you’re a copywriter or marketer but don’t know who David Ogilvy is, then cast your eyes downward in abject shame; he basically wrote the book on modern advertising.

Ogilvy On AdvertisingThe Letters of Note blog just published his rightly famous “I am a lousy copywriter” letter detailing his twelve step process for writing an ad — something I’d read years ago in a book secretly assembled by Ogilvy’s colleagues without his knowledge (The Unpublished David Ogilvy).

I basically fell in love (again) with #7 and #12 (you can see all 12 here):

  1. At this point I can no longer postpone the actual copy. So I go home and sit down at my desk. I find myself entirely without ideas. I get bad-tempered. If my wife comes into the room I growl at her. (This has gotten worse since I gave up smoking.)

  2. I am a lousy copywriter, but I am a good editor. So I go to work editing my own draft. After four or five editings, it looks good enough to show to the client. If the client changes the copy, I get angry—because I took a lot of trouble writing it, and what I wrote I wrote on purpose.

Ogilvy inveighed against irrelevant, shallow, underperforming ad campaigns, and his penchant for research — and for finding the drama inherent in every product — served an an able primer when I charged headlong into the advertising world of the 1980s.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler

How Many Fumblerules Have You Broken Today?

January 24, 2012, by Tom Chandler 2 comments

The classics never go out of style, which is why I was thrilled to see William Safire’s Fumblerules for Grammar make an appearance on the Lists of Note blog.

In 1979, William Safire wrote a list of grammar rules, skillfully invoking the error in the rule itself (not an easy feat). Here are the first twenty; you can see the rest by clicking here.

  1. Remember to never split an infinitive.
  2. A preposition is something never to end a sentence with.
  3. The passive voice should never be used.
  4. Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
  5. Don’t use no double negatives.
  6. Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn’t.
  7. Reserve the apostrophe for it’s proper use and omit it when its not needed.
  8. Do not put statements in the negative form.
  9. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
  10. No sentence fragments.
  11. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
  12. Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
  13. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
  14. A writer must not shift your point of view.
  15. Eschew dialect, irregardless.
  16. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
  17. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!
  18. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
  19. Hyphenate between sy-llables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.
  20. Write all adverbial forms correct.

(Read the rest of the rules at Letters of Note).

If I had the time (a face-saving way of saying I don’t have the talent), I’d write a new set of Fumblerules for bloggers (“Avoid communicating massively hyper-awesomeness in each and every mind-blowing sentence.”)

Keep writing, Tom Chandler

How Writers Write: Screenwriter John August Describes His Writing Universe

December 19, 2011, by Tom Chandler 3 comments
John August, Screenwriter: How I Write

Like most writers, I’m not above peeking through the keyhole to see how the other guy is getting words down.

John August, Screenwriter: How I Write

Screenwriter John August tells us how he writes (click image to read his post)

I used to look out of sheer interest, but because of today’s fast-evolving writing/comm/marketing technology I’m actively looking for ideas to steal, which is why I sat up and noticed when uber-screenwriter John August published an extensive ‘How I Write‘ post on his blog, and expanded that into a “Workspace” series profiling other screenwriters.

(He borrowed the idea from “The Setup” blog, which focuses on younger, more technical users who use an almost punishing range of technology.)

A few interesting notes:

  • August makes frequent use of Freedom — a Mac/Windows product that shuts down your Internet access for X amount of time
  • Like so many other truly fulltime long-form writers, he shoots for a set number of pages a day (in his case, five script pages)
  • August writes his non-screenplay text on a programmer’s text editor, a growing trend for online/non-print uses
  • When starting a screenplay, he often leaves town, locks himself in a hotel room, and does nothing but hash out ideas for a week

His use of a programmer’s text editor is a growing trend in a world where printed stuff is increasingly irrelevant, and chasing a target number of pages is also pretty common.

Less common is the bit where he hides from the world when starting a new project, something I’ve never truly considered — though I can see the value if I was trying to fire up something on the level of a campaign.

I liked his post so much (and the other “Workspace” posts that followed it) that after I’ve settled into the new year, I may do something similar myself.

Most copywriters aren’t as forthcoming about their habits as other writers (or maybe nobody ever asks us), but as a certified writing tools geek, I’m interested.

Keep writing, Tom Chandler.

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the underground

For 27 years I've worked as a copywriter. Despite that, I retain a youthful appearance and remain mostly sane.

I'm a copywriter, but the Underground isn't focused solely on copywriting; it's a reflection of one writer's interest in other writers (and writer's tools, text editors, creativity - and everything else that bubbles up).

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